Ah, love. You’re in love – at least you think you are. She makes your heart race, and you think about her all the time. Slow down there, tiger – you might scare her away! There’s no need to play games, but there’s no need to be in a big rush either. Rushing has a way of dooming a relationship for nice guys, so just take a few deep breaths.
When you enter the dating scene, you may be looking for a wife. That’s fine. Most women are looking for long-term relationships, too. But developing a relationship that’s worthy of marriage and promising to spend the rest of your life together for better or worse takes time.
A smart woman, and a smart you will take time to actually fall in love, which is different than the giddy, heart-pounding infatuation that pretty much all relationships (whether short-lived or long-term) begin as.
Actually being in love is a different animal – and if it’s not in existence when you say those three words (or worse yet, say your “I dos”), then you’re going to be in a lot of trouble. Not every woman is seeking a husband, and you might scare her off by being too serious, too soon.
Finding the love of your life and your soulmate could be a quick and easy process, or it could take months of looking and dating many different women. But the actual process of making sure that the two of you are meant for each other and are both in it for the long haul can take way more than a few months.
Some say that you should date a person for an entire year before getting too serious. This gives you a chance to see this person in many different lights and you’ll have an opportunity to see her at her best, as well as her worst.
If you’re desperate to have a partner, and she is too, you both run the risk of diving headfirst into a situation that you’re not ready for and not prepared to sustain. Your best bet is to rein yourself in before you even start dating and look for women who don’t seem overly desperate to lock in a husband.
This doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love. It doesn’t mean that you can’t commit to each other and get married and raise a family. This means that you’re going about finding the right wife patiently and with a good appreciation for the fact that you both need time to decide if there’s enough common ground between the two of you to commit to a lifetime together.
Take your time with dating, getting serious and falling in love. If it’s the right thing, you’ll figure it out and so will she. If she’s pressuring you to hurry up, that may be a signal that you should back off for your own good.
Likewise, if she senses that you’re in a big hurry to fall madly, truly, deeply in love, she might run in the other direction. Relax with it and let nature take its course. When the time is right, you’ll know it – and you’ll feel that she knows it, too.