You had a fabulous time on the first date. He was so easy to talk to that you felt like you had known him for years. He seemed to have your same tastes in food and movies. You were amazed at how well you got along and look forward to the next date.
If you’re honest, you felt such a connection to him that you told your best friend that you may have found your Mr. Right. Then the next day passes and no phone call. After a week, you stop checking voice mail, email or making excuses for him and accept that he’s not going to call you.
How do you handle the rejection? You could head for the ice cream shop and drown your sorrows in scoops of rich ice cream with cookies and sprinkles on top. Hanging around the house in an old bathrobe crying is another way to deal with the hurt you feel.
Drinking alcohol, driving too fast or getting angry and trash talking about him are other destructive ways to cope with your sadness. So far that’s a look at how you might act in private or with friends, but eventually you might run into him again.
If you work in the same company or even within the same industry, chances are you’ll see him again. If you met him through friends, then you can count on landing in the same social setting before long.
How you handle yourself in that situation is going to be seen by others, so you need to think it over before it happens to avoid making a fool of yourself over a guy who doesn’t deserve your attention.
Maybe you’ve imagined how you might “tell him off” – but is that what you really need to do? First of all, if he didn’t care enough about you to call after the date as he said he would, then he simply doesn’t care what you think.
Telling him how you feel won’t change him because he has no interest in you. If you do that, you are the one who looks foolish in front of friends or co-workers. Or you might be fantasizing about “showing him what he missed” by parading a new date in front of the other guy.
Reality check – he won’t care and your new guy won’t like being used to cause jealousy in another man. You lose on both counts. The longer you obsess about him, the more you build up something that’s more than what it ever was.
You can analyze your dating conversation a thousand ways so that you eventually hear something that wasn’t said and believe something that never happened. That’s the power of obsession – it turns reality into fantasy that you begin to believe.
Don’t resort to high school dating tricks like sending him anonymous cards that are sweet or sarcastic. And definitely don’t drive by his house at all hours to see who is with him. You can’t win him over by stalking him – just be glad that he realized you two weren’t right for each other and move on to find the one who will treasure you most.