For men, pursuit is part of the fun of dating and pairing up. That’s the reason men love games. You get to hunt things and conquer worlds and creatures. Great. But leave the gaming in your den or out in the wilderness.
Women are not big game to be hunted and bagged – and regrettably, there are guys out there that seem to have forgotten that truth. This creates a problem because women start to become wary of all men.
You know the kind of guy we’re talking about. You see him at the bar, the gym and in the office. He’s always on the lookout for a girl who might fall under his spell of his suave charm (or is that obnoxious pushiness?).
Most women want nothing to do with a guy like this. Unfortunately for you, when you approach the cute salesgirl at the store down the street, she might automatically assume you’re the same as Mr. Suave, and shoot you down before you get a chance to ask her out. So you need to know how to play the game, but play fair and play nice. If you can master that, you’re on your way to dating success.
Before you can get to the point of asking a woman for a date, there is usually some flirting and game-playing that takes place. This is normal, healthy and fun. When done right, it can be very exciting for both you and the lucky girl you are trying to charm.
But it’s an intricate dance of sorts, so you need to know what moves to make and when to make them. You also need to know how to change speed or “tactics.” Usually, the first step that leads to a date is a glance – unless you’re trying Internet dating, and then it’s the written word.
Let’s separate Internet dating from meeting someone in a more conventional way. The first step is a glance. Often, that’s all that’s needed to know if she’s initially interested. Eye contact is a very powerful thing between two people.
If she sees you and holds eye contact for a few seconds, she might be interested. If she glances away, but has a pleasant look on her face, or a bit of a smile, she might be interested.
Now if this doesn’t happen, don’t assume she hates you! There are a ton of other factors to be considered, like if she’s a receptionist and her phone is ringing off the hook. She may simply not have time to look at you.
But if you get an interested glance, that’s a good thing. You need to make sure that your response is appropriate. A smile is good, and some eye contact – not staring until she thinks you’re a serial killer! This is where your confidence is important. Don’t blow it by looking down or away, unless you can pull it off by looking away with a “You’re cute, and I like you” smile.
Words are next in the dating game. Don’t lead off with something negative! Now is not the time for, “Well, the weather sure sucks today, doesn’t it?” You could try, “Check out that snow – there are going to be a lot of happy skiers out this weekend!”
Skip the “Hey baby, don’t I know you from somewhere?” foolish routine. If you can start a pleasant conversation, you’re in good shape – but again, you have to be mindful of what’s going on.
If she’s the receptionist with the phone, you can’t monopolize her time and keep her from working. You need to use some judgment and you might have to make several attempts if you really like the girl. If you need to, wrap it up with something like, “Hey, it was nice meeting you. Maybe we can continue this conversation another time?” Then ask for her number or give her your email address.