If you’re confused about what men want in a relationship, you’re not alone. The battle of the sexes truly is a battle where one half often doesn’t understand what the other half wants or needs.
So as a result of this, you find too many people who are alone, but together in a relationship. You’ll also find people not in a relationship, but who want to be in one, yet when they get it, they just can’t seem to make it work.
Or it’s working, but not really at the level that it could be. If that sounds like something you’ve experienced, you’re going to want to find help. You can find help knowing what men want in a program like What Men Secretly Want.
This way, all of the not knowing is taken off the table and you’ll be able to approach your relationships with the knowledge you need to make them work successfully.
If you’re like most people, the thought of knowing how to understand a man ranks right up there with as easy as being able to scale Mt. Everest in your sleep with no climbing gear.
But the truth is, that while it might seem like he’s living in a completely different universe from the one you reside in, he isn’t. And truthfully, men aren’t that difficult to understand once you know what it is that they want.
Digging for what it means to understand a man is something you’re going to have to do because the majority of men will not communicate what they need or want. There’s no deep secret to that part.
Men just keep things close to the vest. It’s how they’re naturally wired. You might think that you have to be a mind reader in order to figure out what the man you’re interested in likes, but you don’t.
You simply need to learn how his basic makeup operates so that you know how to understand what makes him want you. Because there are some things that you can do that not only turn him off, but will also make him run the other way.
This is why some people can be in a relationship, it seems like everything is going great and then all of a sudden, they’re breaking up. The one who got dumped is left baffled trying to understand what happened.
Knowing what will give you a great relationship can be hard when one of the people involved doesn’t like to be as open with his feelings but that can be worked around.
But you do have to face the fact that men and women have totally different needs in a relationship. These different needs can drive the two of you apart. But if you know how to work them, they can actually be what pulls you together.
Before you get in that relationship, you go through the exciting stage. There’s a connection and everything you say to each other seems magical. Men respond to this stage in a relationship because the woman is flirting with him.
Flirting makes a man feel desired and it commands his interest. But when most couples get into a relationship, this flirting is one of the first things to go. So that initial spark, that excitement dies down.
Not only is that a shame, but it can quickly lead to the man losing interest. Men have a natural born desire to hunt. It stems from the beginning of time. This is what makes it exciting to them.
Once they get what they want from the hunt, they’re done. This is what can lead to that no flirting and them losing interest. A lot of women wait for the man to make a move and then respond.
They don’t understand that a man not only wants to be desired, but he needs to feel that from the woman who’s interested in him.
Hold His Interest
There seems to be a misconception that if a woman isn’t the same trim and young person she was when they met, that a man will lose interest. That’s not the truth and while staying healthy is a good goal for anyone, keeping your shape and looks is not the only thing that holds a man’s interest.
Think about it. If that were the case, you wouldn’t read about men cheating on girlfriends and wives that look like or are models. So what’s the tip that can help a woman hold his interest?
What will make him crave you above all other women? It’s the way that you make him feel. And you can influence his feelings by knowing what’s at the core of his feelings.
If you make a man feel like he’s desirable, that he’s sexy and that you want to be with him, that taps into a man’s innermost need and keeps him interested. By the way, this is also one of the reasons that many men cheat on their partners.
Someone else made them feel desirable and sexy. Women that know how to take care of themselves hold a man’s interest. A man doesn’t want a clingy woman who acts helpless around him.
He would prefer that the woman he’s interested in knows what she wants out of life and be someone who’s independent. That doesn’t mean that you’ll keep his interest if you give off the air of never needing him for anything.
A man stays interested in a woman who isn’t afraid to need his help from time to time. There can be a tendency among some women that when they begin a relationship to want to be with the man as often as possible.
This kind of behavior makes a man feel as if he doesn’t have any space. And it’s guaranteed to push him away. There are all kinds of jokes online and on television about men going out with the guys or having a poker night to spend time with his buddies.
The punch line is always how the woman didn’t like it and gets angry that he chose to spend time with them over her. But this is a need that a man has just like a woman needs to spend time with other women.
It’s the being apart and having other interests that strengthens a relationship. Being together all the time and not understanding his need for space will drive him to seek it away from you permanently.
Men don’t want to be controlled any more than a woman does. Some women try to desperately monopolize where the man goes and who he’s spending time with. This is a big mistake.
Encourage him to spend time with other people. There are helpful programs like What Men Secretly Want that can help show you how to hold his interest by being your own person and encouraging him to do the same.
Show the Respect
You might have heard this before, how that a man wants a woman to respect him, but you might not understand exactly what he means by this. It’s important that you do because a man’s deep need is to have respect and when he doesn’t think he has it, it makes him feel frustrated and unhappy in the relationship.
What a man means by respect is that the woman in his life needs to respect what he decides to do when he decides to do something. That doesn’t mean that you have to always agree with everything he says or does.
But what happens when a woman questions what a decision a man makes is that he doesn’t see it as her simply asking a question. He sees it as her not respecting that he knows what he’s doing.
A romantic partner is far more likely to question a man’s judgment than a woman he works with is. A man needs to feel respected with not only his judgments but in his opinions as well.
Now does that mean that you’ll automatically like or agree with everything he does? No. And it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a right to an opinion. But if you’re constantly questioning his decisions, it makes a man feel like you don’t respect him and he feels like you don’t think he’s smart enough to be doing whatever it is he’s doing.
Men feel this lack of respect when they’re trying to do something around the house. Maybe they’re trying to do a simple repair job. Something goes on and it doesn’t look good to you.
Trying to be helpful, you suggest that he call an expert. What that says to him is that you don’t respect his opinion that he can handle the job. That may not even be what you meant by your suggestion at all.
You were only trying to offer some help. But that’s not the way it’s perceived. This is very important if you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship. Because while you feel good and are basking in the thought that you offered some helpful advice, he’s thinking the opposite.
He’s thinking, “She doesn’t think I can handle this. If she doesn’t think I can handle this small job, she’s not going to think I can handle anything bigger.” From that, it branches into him thinking you don’t respect him.
You have to respect the way he communicates. This is a big problem area for women. Nine out of every ten women are better at communicating than men. That’s because women are more likely to share how they feel about a subject and how they felt when someone said something that bothered them.
A man on the other hand isn’t going to do this. When a man says he doesn’t want to talk about something, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel upset by whatever is going on.
It’s not a sign that he doesn’t care. A woman must learn how to respect a man in the area of communication if she has hopes for a good relationship. What a lot of women don’t understand is that when she shows respect to a man, it makes him want to be with her and it makes him more attracted to her.
What Works in Communication
Respect is a big part of communication when it comes to men. If he doesn’t think that you respect him, you can be sure that the communication will be affected. A woman will often shut down communication when her feelings are hurt.
A man will often shut down communication when he doesn’t feel respected. What you say in conversation with the man in your life will go one of two ways. It will either make him feel good about himself and his relationship with you or it will make him feel frustrated.
While a lack of respect for him is the biggest turn off for a man in communication, there are other ways that you can be sabotaging your relationship and you might not even be aware that you’re doing this.
In a conversation, you tell your partner not to forget that he arranged to meet you for drinks at a certain time at your favorite bar. You’re excited about the meeting and you just didn’t want him to forget.
That’s just being helpful. But that’s not how it comes across to the man because men don’t read communication like a woman does. Instead of seeing it as a help, he sees it as a nag.
And he’s thinking, “We’re not even married and she’s nagging me to be somewhere when I already said I would.” To you, you were being helpful. To him, it’s not helpful.
It’s a sign that you’re mothering him and that will drive a man away. Men do pay attention to how a woman acts during the first stages of the relationship. He sees it as setting a stage.
“Oh, if she’s this way now, how much worse would she get if we started dating seriously?” These situations also work the same even if you’re already married to the man.
A wife that doesn’t respect and doesn’t know how to communicate with a man can drive him away. Just because you think something doesn’t mean that’s the way that the man will see it.
While you can easily and openly discuss that weight gain with your girlfriends, you certainly wouldn’t want your guy bringing it up in a circle of your friends while you were all gathered.
It feels like an insult. That’s how a man feels when you bring up something you feel needs correcting about him when you’re together in public. So what if he doesn’t have all his facts correct about a fishing story?
Or an outing the two of you went on together? It’s better to let him save face publicly than it is to be right. While a man might be strong physically, their egos can be easily be damaged by what you say.
If it’s negative, don’t say it in public. If it’s something that needs to be addressed, do it privately and ask, don’t demand an explanation for something he’s said. When it comes to communicating, men and women are always going to view it differently and respecting that difference can make a man think you’re the greatest, easiest woman to talk to in the world.
He might even brag to his friends that you understand him. When you’re just starting the relationship, laying the groundwork for communication is so important.
There are programs like What Men Secretly Want that can help show you tips on early communication so that the relationship will be strong from day one.
Get the Commitment
A man with commitment issues is the plot line of several sitcoms. It’s a running joke that’s not funny to women who desire a commitment from the men in their lives.
The key to this is to build the relationship. A relationship has to have three tiers of intimacy – an emotional one, a psychological one and a physical one in order for it to be successful.
You have to know how to balance these three so that you’re not paying more attention to any one area. Many women complain that the men in their lives just won’t open up and let them in emotionally.
But there is a key that does unlock that area and will allow you to have a closer emotional intimacy with a man. Here’s a tip about men and commitment. You can’t cajole, suggest or nag a man into making it.
But your attitude is what can convince him that he wants to make a commitment to you. Men like women with a positive, glass half-full attitude over women who have a negative one.