Do you ever wonder if there are any guys out there who are worth dating? Where are they? And why can\u2019t you find them? Yes, they\u2019re out there – but maybe you\u2019re looking in the wrong places.<\/p>\n
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You might even know a great guy right now, but you\u2019re passing him by because you aren\u2019t sure what you really want. Chances are you\u2019re letting yourself look for men the way you shop for shoes – changing your mind with each new trend or mood.<\/p>\n
Finding the right single man is not about pleasing your friends or a competition for attracting the hottest guy at the party. Finding the right single man only happens when you know what you want in a man.<\/p>\n
Think of man hunting like bargain hunting at a clearance sale. Sure, the neon orange skirt is 80% off the regular price, but where would you wear it? That conservative black suit is a classic, but your style is sporty and casual – it just doesn\u2019t fit with the rest of your wardrobe.<\/p>\n
Buying another tank top that\u2019s not your size won\u2019t look any better because it\u2019s on sale than the one you already have that shrank in the wash. Mr. Neon Orange may be easy to lead around, but he would never fit into your world.<\/p>\n
Mr. Conservative Black Suit runs with a more formal crowd than your flip flop loving crowd. Mr. Too-Tight Tank Top is just like Mr. Jerk that you spent months crying over last year – do you really want to do that again?<\/p>\n
You have to know what you want in a man before you can find him. So take out a piece of paper and draw three columns. The left column is for \u201cWhat\u2019s Important,\u201d middle column is for \u201cRequirements\u201d and right column is for \u201cPreferences.\u201d<\/p>\n
The \u201cWhat\u2019s Important\u201d column includes such items as age, income, appearance, moral value, habits like smoking\/drinking, common interests, sports, commitment style and family values.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t try to fit any particular guys into this list – not yet. Prepare this list with absolute honesty. Decide what characteristics are \u201cmust haves\u201d (Requirements) and which are \u201clike to haves\u201d (Preferences).<\/p>\n
Until you know this information, you really can\u2019t make a solid decision about any guy. Maybe you\u2019ve ignored nagging requirements in order to accept a certain guy as he is. That\u2019s a relationship red flag.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re a personal trainer who is into natural foods, you can make all the excuses in the world, but you won\u2019t last with a guy who smokes and craves fatty fast foods 24\/7. The conflict between what\u2019s important to him and what\u2019s important to you means that one of you has to change.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t count on changing him. If you change your beliefs, how much of yourself gets lost? Over time, you\u2019ll either resent him or resent yourself – the conflict in inevitable. Knowing what you want is the fair way to date.<\/p>\n
Why waste your time (and his) when the foundational elements aren\u2019t there? It\u2019s also important to be honest with yourself about the type of man that you really want. When you know how to describe him, you\u2019ll have an easier time recognizing him when you meet him. Maybe you already know him – you just didn\u2019t know yourself!<\/p>\n
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