We all have been in a situation where we look back and say we should’ve known our ex was an abuser, a cheater, or a jerk. Its easy to do in hindsight. I know because I’ve done it at least 18 times.
Its OK to justify that a red flag is more pink than red sometimes, but be honest with yourself and know the difference between the two. Here are five red flags that shouldn’t be justified.
- Rough housing. He’s no good if he twists an arm or grabs or pushes too hard. Even if he’s playing around, a respectful person won’t hurt his or her partner.
- “Who’s that guy?” syndrome. Chances are that if you get 20 questions over seemingly unimportant parts of your day that he is insecure. Everyone is a little jealous, even in a healthy relationship, but know the difference between a little and a lot of jealousy. If he puts you down or accuses you of things, then consider it a red flag.
- Listen to your friends. Your family and friends want what is best for you. They love you. Although there are always exceptions to this rule, at least consider what those close to you have to say about your boyfriend. Since they only want you to be happy, there is probably a good reason for their feelings.
- You don’t do the things you used to. Every time we fall in love our priorities change and so its natural that you would see your friends less or spend less time on your hobbies, but its not healthy to eliminate these things altogether. If your significant other prevents you from spending time with your friends, or makes you feel guilty for even wanting to spend time on your own, consider this a red flag.
- He’s scary one minute and sweet the next. Extreme mood swings are a sign of instability. You deserve someone who will treat you well all the time. You shouldn’t have to worry about what kind of mood hell be in when you get home or whether or not you should rearrange your day just to make him happy.
Written by Sara Musfeldt