It’s never a good idea to walk up to a woman and say, “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” Openers like that are sure to make your intended target run in the other direction.
So what do you say as your opening line, and how can you say it so that you don’t come off as an idiot? First, don’t pre-plan your icebreakers. They’ll sound forced and your potential date will not be impressed.
Stay away from anything cheesy and even the over-used, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” There are better ways to break the ice and get a conversation started.
- Offer to help. If she’s carrying something, setting something up, taking something down, or otherwise doing something that it looks like she might appreciate some assistance with, offer it.
- Ask her something. Ask her if she knows where the mechanical pencils are stored or if she has the phone number for the Rochester branch, or if you could borrow her packing tape (then return it with your thanks and a cup of coffee).
- Compliment her. Tell her that you thought she did a great job with the presentation or that you like the way she handled that rude customer, or that you thought the joke she told in the break room was really funny.
- Ask her to help you. Ask her to show you how to do something on the computer, or to explain how pro-rated vacation time works.
At the Gym, Bark Park, Book Club, Cooking Class, Etc.:
- Smile and say, “Have you ever tried the spinning class? I’m thinking of trying it.”
- If you’re at the Bark Park, compliment her four legged friend such as saying, “Nice puppy. Is he purebred?”
- At the library, ask, “How do you feel about this book? I’m having a love/hate relationship with the main character.”
- If you’re in a class together in college or for a specific skill, ask, “Have you enjoyed the class so far? My friends are pretty impressed with my newfound cooking abilities!”
You’ll get far more points for noticing that she could use a hand or that she has a cute dog, or that she has a nice smile than if you try to come off as some sort of misguided Don Juan.
Pick up lines and cheesy icebreakers seldom work. If you need to practice and think of possible lines in order to be prepared for any chance that might present itself, that’s fine, but you have to remain flexible and relaxed so that you don’t sound like you were just waiting to use that line on the first girl that happened to come along.